The city celebrated the redevelopment of Spencer Street Station (the city's major rail and bus hub) on Saturday with an open house featuring balloons, food, and, of course, clowns. Despite such festive offerings, no one showed, probably because the city's inhabitants are well aware that the redevelopment is far from over. Though originally scheduled for completion this past weekend, the completion date has been pushed back to December, and the project is now estimated to go $100 overbudget. Construction sites (pictured here - taken this weekend) make very poor playgrounds, so I'm not sure what they were thinking. Perhaps they put a nonrefundable deposit down on those clowns before they knew about the delays.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Der Untergang (aka Downfall)
Last night marked the first time in my life where I had assigned seating in a movie theatre, which was made more bizarre by the fact that the theatre was quite empty. I watched Downfall, the account of the last days of Hitler and company during the battle of Berlin. According to Deutsche Welle, the film was controversial in Germany due to its personal portrayl of Hitler - many naturally wish to avoid revealing a human side to the man. However, I found the more intimate portrayl made him appear all the more inhuman. But the film focuses more on Hitler's staff and the ranking members of the Nazi SS, which is actually a far more interesting, and disturbing story. It's easy to right off one man's actions as insanity, but what is troubling is the extent to which others embraced such insanity themselves or, perhaps worse, failed to recognize it altogether. Hitler was responsible for murdering 6 million Jews. Magda Goebbles killed just six people, but they were her own children - killed to save them from a world without National Socialism (easily the movie's most chilling scene). I find both of these atrocities equally disturbing and inexplicable.
Gallipoli Rubbish
Approximately 20,000 traveled to ANZAC Cove, Gallipoli (not pictured here - this is the Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne - I couldn't make it to Turkey) for Monday's dawn service. The morning after, however, all the media could talk about was the amount of refuse those 20,000 individuals left behind (it did look rather a mess). Greater criticism was leveled at the choice of entertainment for the Gallipoli services: the Bee Gees. Nothing honors the fallen like disco. Perhaps playing "Stayin' Alive" at the site of a battle which claimed thousands of lives 90 years ago is in poor taste. Who is it that is still staying alive?
The Smart
The Smart is apparently here in Australia, but other than its occasional use as a marketing gimmick, I have yet to see one in the hands of your average consumer.
Friday, April 22, 2005
ANZAC Day
Monday is ANZAC (Australia/New Zealand Army Corps) Day – my fourth holiday since I arrived, but more importantly one commemorating the Gallipoli campaign during WWI [http://www.anzacsite.gov.au/]. In some ways it’s analogous to Veterans/Memorial Day in the U.S., but perhaps maybe a better analogy is the U.S.’s annual remembrance of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Gallipoli is a Turkish peninsula overlooking the Dardanelles straight linking the Aegean Sea to the Black Sea. The British had the opportunity to run the straight during the early stages of WWI, thereby securing the Black Sea and exposing Constantinople. However, the opportunity was lost due to poor intelligence and lack of initiative (if I’m remembering my history). The Turks eventually discovered the vulnerability and reinforced Gallipoli. Enter ANZAC and British forces charged with dislodging the Turks. The campaign was a disaster. After securing a narrow beachhead, ANZAC faced an uphill battle on the cliffs of Gallipoli. Thousands were killed over several months before the campaign was called off.
See also: Gallipoli (starring a young Mel Gibson) and ANZACS (with Paul Hogan)
Hear also: Waltzing Matilda (by The Pogues)
Gallipoli is a Turkish peninsula overlooking the Dardanelles straight linking the Aegean Sea to the Black Sea. The British had the opportunity to run the straight during the early stages of WWI, thereby securing the Black Sea and exposing Constantinople. However, the opportunity was lost due to poor intelligence and lack of initiative (if I’m remembering my history). The Turks eventually discovered the vulnerability and reinforced Gallipoli. Enter ANZAC and British forces charged with dislodging the Turks. The campaign was a disaster. After securing a narrow beachhead, ANZAC faced an uphill battle on the cliffs of Gallipoli. Thousands were killed over several months before the campaign was called off.
See also: Gallipoli (starring a young Mel Gibson) and ANZACS (with Paul Hogan)
Hear also: Waltzing Matilda (by The Pogues)
Buy Australian
There is quite a bit of “buy-Australian” marketing here. Jared Diamond’s Collapse, and its discussion of the various cultural, environmental, and economic challenges facing Australia has provided some explanation for this. I found the following statistics from Diamond quite fascinating:
60% of Australia’s land and 80% of its water consumption are dedicated to agriculture.
99% of Australia’s agricultural land makes no net contribution to Australia’s economy.
80% of Australia’s agricultural profits are derived from less than 0.8% of its agricultural land.
In short, the vast majority of Australia’s agriculture consists of marginal or failing enterprises. The poor productivity of Australia’s farmland combined with the high costs of irrigation, fertilization, and pest control make the costs of producing just about anything from the land greater than the revenue that can be earned from the land. Even a number of Australia’s native species are now being grown more productively on plantation forests in other countries. It’s cheaper to import agricultural products by boat across thousands of miles of ocean than to grow them locally. Hence, the only way to make Australian products competitive is to appeal to Australians’ nationalism and ask them to pay more for domestic products.
The other irrational behavior that Diamond mentions is Australia’s tendency to export its natural resources at low cost where they are converted to high value goods that are exported back to Australia. Australia continues to rapidly deforest its landscape (75% of Australia’s original forest and 90% of its native vegetation has been logged or cleared since European colonization, and much of this was subsidized by the government). A sizeable fraction of Australia’s timber is converted to wood chips that are exported to Japan at $7 a ton. In Japan, those wood chips are converted to paper that Australia buys at $1,000 a ton. Meanwhile, most of Australia’s timber for manufacturing and construction has to be imported. Similarly, Australia’s minerals and metals are exported elsewhere to be converted into appliances, cars, etc., which Australians subsequently buy. According to Diamond, the only other countries engaged in such upside-down and exploitive foreign trade are all in the developing world.
60% of Australia’s land and 80% of its water consumption are dedicated to agriculture.
99% of Australia’s agricultural land makes no net contribution to Australia’s economy.
80% of Australia’s agricultural profits are derived from less than 0.8% of its agricultural land.
In short, the vast majority of Australia’s agriculture consists of marginal or failing enterprises. The poor productivity of Australia’s farmland combined with the high costs of irrigation, fertilization, and pest control make the costs of producing just about anything from the land greater than the revenue that can be earned from the land. Even a number of Australia’s native species are now being grown more productively on plantation forests in other countries. It’s cheaper to import agricultural products by boat across thousands of miles of ocean than to grow them locally. Hence, the only way to make Australian products competitive is to appeal to Australians’ nationalism and ask them to pay more for domestic products.
The other irrational behavior that Diamond mentions is Australia’s tendency to export its natural resources at low cost where they are converted to high value goods that are exported back to Australia. Australia continues to rapidly deforest its landscape (75% of Australia’s original forest and 90% of its native vegetation has been logged or cleared since European colonization, and much of this was subsidized by the government). A sizeable fraction of Australia’s timber is converted to wood chips that are exported to Japan at $7 a ton. In Japan, those wood chips are converted to paper that Australia buys at $1,000 a ton. Meanwhile, most of Australia’s timber for manufacturing and construction has to be imported. Similarly, Australia’s minerals and metals are exported elsewhere to be converted into appliances, cars, etc., which Australians subsequently buy. According to Diamond, the only other countries engaged in such upside-down and exploitive foreign trade are all in the developing world.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
More Drugs in Bali
Nine Australians were arrested yesterday attempting to smuggle 11 kilos of heroin out of Bali. Five were apprehended at the airport, and four more were later picked up at the Hard Rock Hotel. Several of the accused are claiming to be innocent victims, "just like Schapelle Corby". However, they were unable to explain how someone managed to strap several pounds of heroin to each of their legs without them noticing. Nine more Australians must now worry about the potential for a firing squad in their futures.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Alms for the Wammer
If you've ever wondered how far you have to go to escape university fundraisers, go ahead and abandon all hope - you can't run that far. I updated my information on William & Mary's alumni directory last week, which prompted them to immediately send me a request for money. They're not too shy either - they reminded me that they "missed my gift last year". They sure didn't miss the thousands of gifts I gave them while I was in school there. I'm somewhat tempted to send them AUS$25 in cash, but these fundraisers are so resourceful, they could probably convert 50 pounds of kangaroo meat to cash.
Footy III
If you’re a fan of footy, there’s no better place than Melbourne. Of the 16 teams in the AFL, more than half are located in the metro Melbourne area. This means that any given weekend you have your choice of 4 or 5 AFL games at two different stadiums in Melbourne (Telstra Dome or the Melbourne Cricket Ground aka “The G”).
Big Score
Last week, Melbourne was the site of the largest seizure of Ecstasy in the history of the world - 5 million tablets with a street value of $250 million. That’s one hit for every fourth person in the country.
Joyride
A 15-year old boy was arrested at gunpoint Sunday night after stealing a tram from a depot and going on a one hour joyride through Melbourne's central business district. However, he was kind enough to stop and pick up passengers. This terminated the youth's weekend long crime spree involving another tram hijacking on Friday night.
According to authorities, tram theft is a recent variation on the beloved teenage past time of "hooning". I spent quite a bit of time this morning listening to newscasters discuss the dangers of hooning and its popularity among Australia's youth, although it took me a good ten minutes before I figured out what hooning is. Basically - street racing (typically in cars, not trams).
According to authorities, tram theft is a recent variation on the beloved teenage past time of "hooning". I spent quite a bit of time this morning listening to newscasters discuss the dangers of hooning and its popularity among Australia's youth, although it took me a good ten minutes before I figured out what hooning is. Basically - street racing (typically in cars, not trams).
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Affordable Housing
A survey was released recently which lists Melbourne and Syndney among the top ten cities in the world when it comes to unaffordable housing [http://www.demographia.com/dhi-rank200502.htm]. Washington D.C. comes in way down the line, behind every other major Australian city (Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Hobart) and even Auckland, New Zealand. Having lived in the DC area, I'm somewhat (and by somewhat I mean highly) dubious of this. Cities were ranked based upon the ratio of median home price to median household income. However, it is unclear whether dollar values were adjusted for market exchange rates (most likely) or purchasing power parity (more relevant). Furthermore, there's always the issue of whether median or average prices make a better indicator (I'm assuming the distribution of housing prices is highly skewed). Both Melbourne and Sydney have experienced rapid growth in recent years in home prices, but I don't think they've approached the 20%+/year that DC has witnessed.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Desert duo die within 9km of water
This story was pulled out of today's newspaper.
“Two men who perished in the Western Australian desert made a desperate 14km trek to find water but died not realising they were just 9km from a bore. Police today said the 41-year-old man and his nephew, 21, set off on their journey without enough petrol, water and minus a detailed map showing water sites that could have saved their lives.The two men died on the edge of the Great Sandy Desert after their 31-year-old Land Rover broke down on the remote Talawana Track 51km east of Cotton Creek in the Pilbara. A station hand found the two bodies and that of their dog beside the vehicle on Friday, but police believe they had been dead for at least a week. Evidence shows the men walked west from their vehicle - in temperatures of some 40 degrees Centigrade [104 F] - in the opposite direction from the bore that would have saved them. WA Police Commissioner Karl O'Callaghan today suggested the men were so poorly prepared for their trip that the tragedy was not surprising. The advanced state of the bodies' decomposition has so far prevented formal identification, police said.â€
“Two men who perished in the Western Australian desert made a desperate 14km trek to find water but died not realising they were just 9km from a bore. Police today said the 41-year-old man and his nephew, 21, set off on their journey without enough petrol, water and minus a detailed map showing water sites that could have saved their lives.The two men died on the edge of the Great Sandy Desert after their 31-year-old Land Rover broke down on the remote Talawana Track 51km east of Cotton Creek in the Pilbara. A station hand found the two bodies and that of their dog beside the vehicle on Friday, but police believe they had been dead for at least a week. Evidence shows the men walked west from their vehicle - in temperatures of some 40 degrees Centigrade [104 F] - in the opposite direction from the bore that would have saved them. WA Police Commissioner Karl O'Callaghan today suggested the men were so poorly prepared for their trip that the tragedy was not surprising. The advanced state of the bodies' decomposition has so far prevented formal identification, police said.â€
Sunday, April 10, 2005
BRO
I spent the better part of Sunday afternoon at the Astor theatre watching Fuller's The Big Red One (The Reconstruction), which I've just discovered, much to my amusement, spells out the acronym "BRO". A reedit of the 1980 WWII film, it now contains 50 additional minutes edited from the original to reduce running time. Unlike Apocalypse Now Redux, where several scenes that deserved their place on the cutting room floor were reintroduced to no positive effect, the new scenes in BRO do create somewhat of a different and mildly deeper film. The major change was the development of the character of Schroeder, Lee Marvin's German counterpart, who was largely dropped from the original edit. There was a lot more sex and violence than I remembered, but given that I've only seen the movie on TV, who knows what was or was not in the original. The theatre itself was great [http://www.astor-theatre.com/], although admission did cost as much as a six-pack of beer at Liquorland.
Record Heat
High temperatures in Melbourne were above 30C from Thursday through Sunday. This was a record for April. The sun came to an abrupt end Sunday afternoon with a torrential downpour which lasted 30 minutes, after which the sun returned (but it was much cooler).
Honeymoon Over!
On my way home from work Friday, I ventured into my friendly neighborhood bottle shop to pick up a six-pack of beer. I picked up a pack of Coopers and was quite pleased when the label underneath read $2.80. "What a wonderful country," I thought. Upon arriving at the cash register, however, I learned that $2.80 referred to the price for each bottle in the six-pack, for a grand total of $16.80. Talk about shock and awe. I placed many furious curses upon this country as I walked the rest of the way home, but had largely calmed down by the time I got home and made my way through half of those alarmingly high priced beers. I've since found a much better deal at the local Liquorland - $12.00. Glad I'm not a binge drinking frat guy anymore - I'd go broke. This is the only place I've been where it costs just as much to stay at home and drink as it does to go out.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
The Burning Land
Australia is a fairly arid environment, and by that I mean the vast majority of it is a desert, and since we're just coming out of summer, even those areas that aren't desert are a bit parched. As a result, wildfires are quite common throughout most of the country (except the interior where there's either nothing to burn or nobody's there to see the flames). Quite a number of fires are caused by "controlled" burns, which often get out of a control. At present, Wilsons Promontory (a national park southeast of Melbourne that sticks out toward Tasmania) is ablaze - even the marshes are on fire. This too started as a controlled burn back around Easter - they were hoping for rain. It's not raining. It may be a while before the WP is once again a picturesque tourist spot. [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=47560]
CSIRO has a little online tool for mapping wildfires in Australia [http://www.sentinel.csiro.au/mapping/viewer.htm ]. I found that if you check "hotspots by date" and enter start dates of Jan 1. and end dates of present day, it looks like the entire continent is on fire. Cool!
CSIRO has a little online tool for mapping wildfires in Australia [http://www.sentinel.csiro.au/mapping/viewer.htm ]. I found that if you check "hotspots by date" and enter start dates of Jan 1. and end dates of present day, it looks like the entire continent is on fire. Cool!
The Solomons
Since July, 2003, Australian forces have been engaged in a peacekeeping mission (RAMSI) in the Solomon Islands, and more specifically, Guadalcanal. So far so good, but two servicemen have been killed since the mission began: one gunned down while on patrol, the other died falling into a cave while looking for the weapons used in that attack. The political and ethnic unrest on Guadalcanal dates back to WWII, when the U.S. shipped in laborers from neighboring islands to construct airbases, etc. To the resentment of the indigenous people, those laborers never left and became quite established. The situation boiled over in the mid-1990s. Here's the scoop from the U.S. State Department, although I'm not sure the situation is as benign as suggested here - there appear to be a lot of scores to settle in this thing. In any case, it's an interesting study of unintended consequences.
"The national election of August 6, 1997 resulted in Bartholomew Ulufa'alu’s election as Prime Minister, heading a coalition government, which christened itself the Solomon Islands Alliance for Change.
However, governance was slipping as the performance of the police and other government agencies deteriorated due to ethnic rivalries. The capital of Honiara on Guadalcanal was increasingly populated by migrants from the island of Malaita [imported by the U.S. during WWII]. In June 2002, an insurrection mounted by militants from the island of Malaita resulted in the brief detention of Ulufa’alu and his subsequent forced resignation. Manasseh Sogavare, leader of the People's Progressive Party, was chosen Prime Minister by a loose coalition of parties. Guadalcanal militants retaliated and sought to drive Malaitan settlers from Guadalcanal, resulting in the closure of a large oil-palm estate and gold mine which were vital to exports but whose workforce was largely Malaitan.
New elections in December 2001 brought Sir Allan Kemakeza into the Prime Minister’s chair with the support of a coalition of parties.
Kemakeza attempted to address the deteriorating law and order situation in the country, but the prevailing atmosphere of lawlessness, widespread extortion, and ineffective police, prompted a formal request by the Solomon Islands Government for outside help. With the country bankrupt and the capital in chaos, the request was unanimously supported in Parliament. In July 2003, Australian and Pacific Island police and troops arrived in the Solomon Islands under the auspices of the Australian-led Regional Assistance Mission to Solomon Islands (RAMSI).
RAMSI is largely a policing effort with an important development component. It has restored order to virtually all parts of the nation and is now embarked on rebuilding government institutions, particularly the police, and reviving the economy, which fell by at least a third during the troubles. The effort promises to take many years and Solomon Islands will continue to require substantial donor support. Moreover, as militants, former police, and political leaders are brought to trial for their crimes during the unrest, some local resentment is likely to cut somewhat into the now-universal support for the intervention."
"The national election of August 6, 1997 resulted in Bartholomew Ulufa'alu’s election as Prime Minister, heading a coalition government, which christened itself the Solomon Islands Alliance for Change.
However, governance was slipping as the performance of the police and other government agencies deteriorated due to ethnic rivalries. The capital of Honiara on Guadalcanal was increasingly populated by migrants from the island of Malaita [imported by the U.S. during WWII]. In June 2002, an insurrection mounted by militants from the island of Malaita resulted in the brief detention of Ulufa’alu and his subsequent forced resignation. Manasseh Sogavare, leader of the People's Progressive Party, was chosen Prime Minister by a loose coalition of parties. Guadalcanal militants retaliated and sought to drive Malaitan settlers from Guadalcanal, resulting in the closure of a large oil-palm estate and gold mine which were vital to exports but whose workforce was largely Malaitan.
New elections in December 2001 brought Sir Allan Kemakeza into the Prime Minister’s chair with the support of a coalition of parties.
Kemakeza attempted to address the deteriorating law and order situation in the country, but the prevailing atmosphere of lawlessness, widespread extortion, and ineffective police, prompted a formal request by the Solomon Islands Government for outside help. With the country bankrupt and the capital in chaos, the request was unanimously supported in Parliament. In July 2003, Australian and Pacific Island police and troops arrived in the Solomon Islands under the auspices of the Australian-led Regional Assistance Mission to Solomon Islands (RAMSI).
RAMSI is largely a policing effort with an important development component. It has restored order to virtually all parts of the nation and is now embarked on rebuilding government institutions, particularly the police, and reviving the economy, which fell by at least a third during the troubles. The effort promises to take many years and Solomon Islands will continue to require substantial donor support. Moreover, as militants, former police, and political leaders are brought to trial for their crimes during the unrest, some local resentment is likely to cut somewhat into the now-universal support for the intervention."
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Schapelle Corby
So I'll finally tackle the Schapelle Corby case, which has arguably dominated the news for months (although the death of the Pope and 9 Australian servicepersons in Indonesia took centerstage over the weekend). You can read the background on Corby here [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=21819], but I'll hit the highlights. Corby headed to Bali with three mates back in October for a vacation. Upon arriving and entering customs, customs officials discovered about 4.1 kilos (about 9 pounds) of marijuana in the bag containing her boogie board. Corby was promptly arrested for smuggling and ordered to stand trial. The penalty for drug smuggling in Indonesia is death by firing squad.
In general, Corby does not fit the profile for an international drug smuggler and one could make a much greater return by selling that quantity of marijuana in Australia than one could by smuggling it into Indonesia. In addition, during the trial, details came out about a smuggling network among Australian baggage handlers - you check your luggage, a baggage handler inserts contraband and passes on information to a baggage handler at the bag's destination, who subsequently pulls the bag aside, removes the contraband, and you get your bag none the wiser. Should a baggage handler on the receiving end miss the bag, however, you end up with a big pile of drugs and, potentially, a date with a prison cell (in Australia) or a firing squad (in Indonesia). A convict serving time in Australia was flown to Indonesia to testify to the existence of such a network, but from what I gather, Indonesian law doesn't embrace the "reasonable doubt" concept.
The trial wrapped up last week. A ruling and sentence is expected next month. The press reports that the defence is not optimistic about an acquittal, but is hoping for a reduced sentence. Meanwhile, the Australian government is talking about trying to have Corby extradited back to Australia. My guess is that Australian officials, though neutral in public, are pulling many strings behind closed doors. Australia has worked feverishly to provide humanitarian aid to Indonesia in the wake of December's Tsunami. Meanwhile, those nine servicepersons died in a helicopter crash while flying rescue missions to remote regions of Indonesia affected by the latest earthquake. I would think that at this point, Indonesia's probably fairly open to any Australian requests.
In general, Corby does not fit the profile for an international drug smuggler and one could make a much greater return by selling that quantity of marijuana in Australia than one could by smuggling it into Indonesia. In addition, during the trial, details came out about a smuggling network among Australian baggage handlers - you check your luggage, a baggage handler inserts contraband and passes on information to a baggage handler at the bag's destination, who subsequently pulls the bag aside, removes the contraband, and you get your bag none the wiser. Should a baggage handler on the receiving end miss the bag, however, you end up with a big pile of drugs and, potentially, a date with a prison cell (in Australia) or a firing squad (in Indonesia). A convict serving time in Australia was flown to Indonesia to testify to the existence of such a network, but from what I gather, Indonesian law doesn't embrace the "reasonable doubt" concept.
The trial wrapped up last week. A ruling and sentence is expected next month. The press reports that the defence is not optimistic about an acquittal, but is hoping for a reduced sentence. Meanwhile, the Australian government is talking about trying to have Corby extradited back to Australia. My guess is that Australian officials, though neutral in public, are pulling many strings behind closed doors. Australia has worked feverishly to provide humanitarian aid to Indonesia in the wake of December's Tsunami. Meanwhile, those nine servicepersons died in a helicopter crash while flying rescue missions to remote regions of Indonesia affected by the latest earthquake. I would think that at this point, Indonesia's probably fairly open to any Australian requests.
Interest Rates (exciting, eh?)
The Australian Fed opted to postpone any additional interest rate hikes this morning (after a 0.25% increase last month) at the request of everyone in Australia. Interest rates here have been creaping up in an attempt to hold off inflationary pressures (primarily oil). Yet there are signs that the Australian economy, which has been chugging along quite well for some time now, is showing signs of weakness. In particular the housing "bubble" has burst. Those of you in the U.S. have heard songs sung by wise men in the hills about the future demise of the housing bubble, but the bubble lives on. Not so here. Housing prices in Sydney have already started to tumble and are projected to decline by 8% before hitting bottom. High-rise condo builders in Melbourne have started thinking that investing in several hundred units at a time may not have been the best idea. Australians haven't benefitted from a 1-2% interest rate like consumers in the U.S. - none of that 0 or -1% financing on new cars nonsense. For the past decade, the Fed interest rate has oscillated between 4.25 and 7.5% and currently stands at 5.5%. Concern about interest rate hikes and their effect on mortgage rates and consumer buying power has the real estate market spooked.
By request
I've added links to The Onion and the all new Boohgoogle.Com.
Now I'm aware that statements like "Pope's Renal System Proves Fallible" may strike some as insensitive or downright offensive at times like this. If so, blame Paul and Shawn - I have their contact information.
Now I'm aware that statements like "Pope's Renal System Proves Fallible" may strike some as insensitive or downright offensive at times like this. If so, blame Paul and Shawn - I have their contact information.
Monday, April 04, 2005
T for Texas
"The Minuteman Project"? What next? Now, I'm sure there are all kinds of wonderful, inspiring things going on in American right now. But just so you know - I don't hear about any of that stuff. The only news I get (aside from stories about mass murder and celebrities) are stories along the lines of "look what absurd thing U.S. convervatives have done now".
[http://www.teamamericapac.org/ta-tapr-050303-minuteman.shtml - this is actually kind of funny, in a sad sordid kind of way]
[http://www.teamamericapac.org/ta-tapr-050303-minuteman.shtml - this is actually kind of funny, in a sad sordid kind of way]
Incoming!!!
Read something in the newspaper over the weekend about the Kabul Golf Club in Afghanistan, which is slowly being restored to its original pre-Taliban glory after 25 years. The photo I saw seemed somewhat embellished since it featured a guy taking a swing next to a large tank, with a "caddie" holding a belt-fed machine gun in the background. Apparently, it's not as adventurous as that, but I think I'd be a little nervous about playing golf on a former mine field (sure, the fairways are probably clear, but what about the rough). [http://www.kabulguide.net/kbl-golfclub.htm]
Friday, April 01, 2005
How to Speak Australian
First of all, Fosters is not Australian for beer. It's Australian for shit beer (sorry, Paul, I meant to say poop beer, honest). Fosters was at one point a very popular brand, but once it went international it lost its fan base - in part because it "sold out", but mostly because it became a watered down ghost of its former self in order to appease you piss drinking Americans. So now, it's pretty scarce around here, and if you do find it, you're probably somewhere you shouldn't be.
We're all familiar with the stereotpyical Aussie expressions "G'day" and "mate". These are indeed ubiquitous and used with remarkable frequency. A lesser known, but equally common expression is hey-go'n (spoken in one effortless slur) - the Aussie abbreviation for "hey, how's it going". Unfortunately, I'm still using odd turns of phrase like "hey", "hello", and "how are you". People look at me funny.
Other tidbits: In Victoria, a glass of beer is a "pot", not to be confused with a pint, which is still a pint - a pot is a few ounces (or a few dozen ml) less than a pint. Abbreviations are quite common. For example, the Royal Botanical Gardens in Melbourne = "The Tan". The neighborhood just south of mine is Prahran - I pleased everyone immensely by trying to pronounce this as it's spelled, not realizing that it's only referred to as "Pran". This can be somewhat problematic, as it's not always self-evident what these abbreviations really mean. Aussies particularly like abbreviating things and adding "ie" to the end - turning something like track pants into "trackies" or hooded sweatshirts into "hoodies." This is part of what makes Aussies so charming - as TSS once said, adding "ie" to anything makes it sound cute. Although I don't find the word "nappies" any more appealing than "diapers". Unfortunately, they blow the whole "ie" thing when it really counts - for example, driving under the influence is referred to as "drink driving". "Drink driving" sounds like a grammatical nightmare, but more importantly, why on Earth would you pass up the opportunity to call it "drinkie driving"?
If you've got kids, you buy a "people mover", and if you're a bad-ass Aussie bloke, you own a shiney "ute" (not to be confused with my wife, Uta). As an aside, the "ute" is essentially a modern day El Camino - yes, they are alive and well in Australia and act as substitutes for pick ups (they're essentially the Ford F-150 of Australia). If you're pissed off, you're "spewing", and if you're throwing up, you're also "spewing". If something's full, it's "chockers". If you want to figure something out, you've got to "suss it out", if you've done well, you'll be warmly rewarded with cheers of "good on ya", and anything bad is just plain "shit".
There's plenty more where that came from, but some of them I haven't figured out yet. . .
We're all familiar with the stereotpyical Aussie expressions "G'day" and "mate". These are indeed ubiquitous and used with remarkable frequency. A lesser known, but equally common expression is hey-go'n (spoken in one effortless slur) - the Aussie abbreviation for "hey, how's it going". Unfortunately, I'm still using odd turns of phrase like "hey", "hello", and "how are you". People look at me funny.
Other tidbits: In Victoria, a glass of beer is a "pot", not to be confused with a pint, which is still a pint - a pot is a few ounces (or a few dozen ml) less than a pint. Abbreviations are quite common. For example, the Royal Botanical Gardens in Melbourne = "The Tan". The neighborhood just south of mine is Prahran - I pleased everyone immensely by trying to pronounce this as it's spelled, not realizing that it's only referred to as "Pran". This can be somewhat problematic, as it's not always self-evident what these abbreviations really mean. Aussies particularly like abbreviating things and adding "ie" to the end - turning something like track pants into "trackies" or hooded sweatshirts into "hoodies." This is part of what makes Aussies so charming - as TSS once said, adding "ie" to anything makes it sound cute. Although I don't find the word "nappies" any more appealing than "diapers". Unfortunately, they blow the whole "ie" thing when it really counts - for example, driving under the influence is referred to as "drink driving". "Drink driving" sounds like a grammatical nightmare, but more importantly, why on Earth would you pass up the opportunity to call it "drinkie driving"?
If you've got kids, you buy a "people mover", and if you're a bad-ass Aussie bloke, you own a shiney "ute" (not to be confused with my wife, Uta). As an aside, the "ute" is essentially a modern day El Camino - yes, they are alive and well in Australia and act as substitutes for pick ups (they're essentially the Ford F-150 of Australia). If you're pissed off, you're "spewing", and if you're throwing up, you're also "spewing". If something's full, it's "chockers". If you want to figure something out, you've got to "suss it out", if you've done well, you'll be warmly rewarded with cheers of "good on ya", and anything bad is just plain "shit".
There's plenty more where that came from, but some of them I haven't figured out yet. . .
Tele
Australia has five television networks (and I'm not just talking about Melbourne, I'm talking about Australia, as a country, all of it): two public (SBS and 10) and three private commercial stations (7, 8, and 9). If you lack cable, this will be the extent of your television viewing options throughout the country. If you have cable, then you of course get a bunch of other cable channels, most of which seem affiliated with Fox (well, Rupert Murdoch is Australian after all). Interestingly, my five stations are more than ample. SBS and 10 give me a great international news coverage as well as international film (so far I've identified foreign films from Spain, Germany, France, China, Italy, Greece, and Russia as well as few in languages that I can't figure out). The dorky nerd shows that you have to have cable to see in the U.S. (like your history documentaries or your pseudo-science shows like Mythbusters) are broadcast as well. And if you really need to watch crap reality television like American Idol - yes we've got that too (but it's delayed by a few weeks, so you can't call in and vote for your favorite). In any case, other than the Nat Geo channel which features lots of shows involving natural disasters and freak accidents, I can't see why anyone would bother to pay for cable down here.
SBS is great because on Wednesday nights there are always several documentaries, most of which target U.S. domestic and foreign policy (and the sleeping U.S. media). I've learned much more about 9/11, the Patriot Act (I'm sorry, the USA Patriot Act), and the Iraq war here than I ever could in the U.S. - and it's all given to me in a nice liberal slant. Plus this past Wednesday there was a macabre doco about the Japanese woman who appeared in Fargo, ND back in 2001, only to be found dead a few days later. The urban legend is that she thought the movie Fargo was a true story and came looking for the money buried at the movie's end, but it seems she was just plain suicidal (who else shows up in ND in winter wearing a miniskirt?). [http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/fargo.htm ]
SBS is great because on Wednesday nights there are always several documentaries, most of which target U.S. domestic and foreign policy (and the sleeping U.S. media). I've learned much more about 9/11, the Patriot Act (I'm sorry, the USA Patriot Act), and the Iraq war here than I ever could in the U.S. - and it's all given to me in a nice liberal slant. Plus this past Wednesday there was a macabre doco about the Japanese woman who appeared in Fargo, ND back in 2001, only to be found dead a few days later. The urban legend is that she thought the movie Fargo was a true story and came looking for the money buried at the movie's end, but it seems she was just plain suicidal (who else shows up in ND in winter wearing a miniskirt?). [http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/fargo.htm ]
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