Monday, August 20, 2007

Private Dancer


The media erupted over the weekend with news that while visiting New York four years ago, opposition leader Kevin Rudd apparently went out drinking and visited an adult entertainment establishment (the horror!). Interestingly, only the media seemed interested in the story. When quizzed on the subject, Liberal government leaders initially dropped "no comment" faster than you can tuck a dollar bill into a g-string (but wait, they don't have dollar bills here. hmmmmmm. . .). Could it be that Rudd is perhaps not the only one in Canberra to have ventured into a strip club? But by this morning, it appeared that having a history of boys nights out might actually improve one's image in the public eye, which led to a veritable stampede of confessions. No one appears to want to be the prude who hasn't had a bit of naughty fun.

No-Water Sports


Looking for something to do this weekend? Why not head to Alice Springs for the 46th annual Henley-on-Todd Regatta:

"In 1962, Reg Smith and his compatriots at the Alice Springs Meteorological Bureau proposed they hold an actual regatta along the lines of the famous Henley-on-Thames, a race between Cambridge and Oxford Universities. The idea was taken up by the Rotary club of Alice Springs, and the fact that the town was 1,500 km's from the nearest large body of water was never seen as a problem."

"Watching seemingly sane people race in bottomless "eights", "oxford tubs", "bath tubs" and yachts through the deep coarse sand of the Todd River provides an unique spectacle amongst world sporting events. The multi-event program attracts many local and international participants from the audience who often finish up on world TV news paddling canoes with sand shovels and in "land lubber" events like filling empty 44 gallon drums with sand."

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Two Songs about Bondage

"Tie Up My Hands" from the debut album of Australia's own British India:


Not to be confused with the Starsailor classic of the same name:

Bus Races

You can't make this stuff up. . .

Cameras Catch Drag-Racing Bus Drivers
August 17, 2007 - 5:58AM

"Sydney bus drivers have been caught on camera as they drag race, run red lights, speed and crash, putting passengers and other road users at risk."

Happy Ending


In the good old fashioned Aussie tradition of giving everyone a fair go, a brothel in South Melbourne is offering discounts on services to compensate for higher petrol costs. Melbourne's men no longer have to make the horrible trade-off between putting food on the table and the costs of driving the extra km's for a little attention. Just rock up with a petrol receipt, and get your rocks off for a bargain.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Carbon, Carbon Everywhere

Today's Washington Post has a long article on the expanding, and increasingly dodgy carbon offsets market.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

What do Russia, Ireland, and Fiji Have in Common?


They comprise the nations whose citizens have the top 3 highest rates of murder when travelling in Australia.

Finally, Higher Water Prices

Water Prices Set to Rise
August 14, 2007 - 5:41PM

"Householders have been warned of steep rises in water bills to fund $30 billion worth of spending over the next five to 10 years to drought-proof the country."

Breast Subsidies

Breast Operation Prize Draws Anger
August 14, 2007 -- Updated 0831 GMT (1631 HKT)

"CANBERRA, Australia (Reuters) -- An Australian men's magazine offering readers a "boob job" breast enhancement for their girlfriends will be investigated under laws barring cosmetic surgery prizes, authorities said on Tuesday."

While this certainly qualifies as newsworthy information in Australia, I'm a bit surprised that someone at CNN is actually paid to dig up the details of such internationally-significant human interest stories.

Diplomacy

How do you welcome an Australian athelete to the United States?

Put Another Credit Card on the Barbie


I saw this last month, but forgot to get it up:

Americans still dream of holidays Down Under
Posted Tue Jul 3, 2007 6:34am AEST

"Australia has topped the list of the most popular vacation destinations for Americans, if money were no object. "

Unfortunately for Americans (and Australian tourism), the only places more expensive for Americans are Antarctica and outer space.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Big Brother Over Sydney


Google Earth goes all fuzzy over the Sydney business district - just a few weeks before the APEC summit. Coincidence?

RTA Launches New Anti-Speeding Campaign


Part of New South Wales Road and Traffic Authority's latest anti-speeding campaign. . .

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Split/Vis

If you flew from Frankfurt to Split, Croatia, who would you expect to see on the plane? Germans? Croatians? How about a couple of dozen American pilgrims on their way to Christian holy sites? If you picked the latter, you'd be spot on. I personally, felt a twinge of guilt as our journey was all about self-indulgence.

We arrived in Split and were met by Davorka, mother of Ivan, former roomie of Uta from her GA State days. Uta and Davorka go way back, almost 10 years, when Davorka spent two weeks in Atlanta visiting her son. To say that she was ecstatic to see Uta would be an understatement. We'd arranged to stay with the family for a night before continuing on the island of Vis. Fortunately, for us, Croatian hospitality rivals that of anything one could find in the southern USA. Davorka provided us keys to an empty flat (allegedly purchased in an as yet unsuccessful attempt to lure Ivan back to Split to join the family business), which included a fridge stocked with goodies. She then escorted us around old Split, through Diocletian's Palace, along the embankment and most of the city's coastal frontage. She treated us to dinner in Bacvice Inlet, joined by Ivan's siblings.


The following morning, we met up with Ana and Michelle along the embankment and boarded a ferry for the two hour trip to Vis (check out this article on CNN as well). We were met at the ferry docks by Ivo, proprieter of our accomodation. We'd rented a couple of rooms in his 16th century house on the Vis harbour. Ivo took the bags in the car, and we proceeded on foot, which was fine, as any car trip in Vis is a hair raising experience, particularly in the towns where the roads are barely wide enough for a single car (one sees a lot of vehicles moving in reverse).

The following week was nothing but pure decadence (except the part where we got stopped by the police). We arranged for Ivo to transport us to various beaches on the island, and spent a day reaching some of the area's more remote locations by boat (including Biševo and the Blue Cave). Ultimately, we were joined by Maya and Victor, as well as Ivan himself, who dropped in for a night. We also spent a coule of evenings in Komiža, the island's fishing community, which hosts a fisherman's festival on Saturday nights. We largely skipped breakfast, as a Croatian breakfast appears to consist of Turkish coffee and cigarettes. We passed on the cigarettes. Lunch could also be hard to come by - we walked out of one spot after we leanred that our fellow patrons had been waiting for 1-2 hours for food. However, each evening was an occassion for a 3-hour feast of grilled seafood and wine. The town of Vis proved quite a picturesque spot for a morning jog, and Uta found a staircase that would challenge the anaerobic metabolism of the leg muscles of the most hardened athlete). The weather was perfect for the dration (save for a storm that blew in and out out one night), and the island is still sufficiently off the beaten path to not be overrun by tourists (as evidenced by the limited English and lack of friendly service). However, based upon the number of high priced yachts sailing into and out of the harbour, it's clear that the island is hardly undiscovered. After a week in paradise, we ventured by to Split, where we were once again met by Davorka and a restocked refigerator. We had a drink in the evening with the family and then spent one more night in Split, tackling Marjan Hill with Ivan's brother the following morning before starting the long trip back to Australia. Incidentally, Crotia's parting words to me were spoken by the chick at passport control - as she stamped by passport she commented: "Benjamin, you have interesting hair-do". With her accent it sounded pretty sexy, but then this could have also meant "dude, you look like a jackass, get out of our country".

The return trip was a test of endurance. An 1.5 hour flight back to Frankfurt (with the pilgirms) where we had a six hour lay-over in the airport. Incidentally, the Frankfurt airport, like Lufthansa, is somewhat of a no-frills zone. Though extremely busy, other than free newspapers in several languages, the airport offers little in the way of food options or ways to occupy oneself for six hours. We actually ate at McDonald's (I ended up with a happy meal due to some problems on Uta's behalf with her native tongue - I didn't get full, but at least I got a toy). Also, the aiport must have the worst indoor air quality of any airport in the western world, due to the prevalence of smokers and the half-assed mechanisms in place to prevent second-hand smoke. The experience was not unlike sitting in a bar, although even most bars in the world are now smoke free. This was followed by a 11.5 hour flight to Singapore (punctuated by an early conflict between two grown mean fighting because one was pushing the seat of the guy in front of him), where we had a five hour layover - fortunately, the Singapore airport is stacked with goodies. The last leg was 6.5 hours down to Melbourne, arriving around 6:30 in the morning. Jet lag has been kicking our asses around the block for the past couple of days, but hopefully we're on the tail end of its effects. Another work week is just around the corner. . .

Photos here

St. Peter-Ording

What does one do on a 10 hour flight from Bangkok to Frankfurt? Not much, particularly when no-frills Lufthansa doesn't even have movies on demand. Mainly, I tried to keep circulation to my legs going. Karin und Hartmut met us in Hamburg after a quick connecting flight and escorted us north to their retirement villa in St. Peter-Ording on the North Sea - a little spot of heaven in Germany's north.

We had two leisurely weeks on the coast, where we were joined by numerous family and friends. Oma and Opa dropped by first - happy to see us, although Oma found the current status of my hair to be less than ideal. The first few days were sunny and warm, allowing us to (finally-after many years) enjoy some quality time on the beach. We also got to take in Germany's Beach Volleyball Championships during that first weekend, where one of Uta's friends was coaching one of the women's teams. Saturday night, a tournament party rocked the beach - complete with all varieties of daggy music and Warsteiner tents featuring the latest rage in Germany: flavoured beer (yes, I know, when Germany starts serving up fruity beer one's got to start wondering about where the world is heading). Uta managed to run into another of her old buddies at the party, which led to hours of humorous recollection, particularly as said friend is now a teacher at Uta's old high school. I, however, made some new friends of my own - there's not too many people that look like me in northern Germany, so apparently it's one of the few places in the world where I'm cool by default. Katrin also arrived over the weekend, reuniting the Dittmer family once again.

As we headed into the following week, Bavarian Pia arrived, but the weather became a bit less reliable, driving up competition for the most critical piece of infrastructure in northern Germany: the Strandkorb. This piece of beach hardware acts as both a wind break and a comfy chair, and nothing appears more beloved among beachgoers. Some go as far as to erect ramparts around their Strandkorb to defend it against would-be usurpers. We had two rented for the duration, which enabled us to forceably evict squatters. And let me tell you - if you want to piss off a German, boot him out of his Strandkorb. It's not a pretty sight. Due to dodgy weather, we took one day and headed down to Hamburg via train to do a little shopping and meet up with Nina and Sylvia. We enjoyed a leisurely breafast at TH2, picked up some items at H&M (the only establishment cheap enough for our Aussie dollars to be useful), did some celebrity spotting (Michael Stich, but only from a distance) and then dined at the hip eatery Vapiano.

Back at the beach, we were eventually joined by the Lagerpusch cousins, Nico and Merit, as well as Matthias, leading to a full house indeed. We capped off the trip with a celebratory evening at the local tennis club, where Uta caught up with everyone from days of tennis gone by, and I put my German to the test trying to keep up with conversations (which become increasingly difficult as the night wore on and speech started to slur). Pia and I finally packed it in at 1:30 and biked back to the ranch, leaving Uta to rage til dawn.

All in all, a daily routine of food, bicycle rides, and lying on the beach is an idyllic existence, particularly with the occassional Dorf Fest, round of golf, or booze up. But all good things must come to an end, and in this case, we ultimately had to hop a plane to Split (which necessitated waking up at a truly criminal hour).

Photos here

Friday, August 10, 2007

Bangkok

We left for Thailand on Friday the 13th, arriving in Bangkok about 6 in the morning after an overnight flight from Melbourne. We took a cab into the city and woke up our hosts, Newley and Anasuya. We hung out at Anasuya's pad and caught up for a few hours before catching breakfast across the way at Crepes & Co. We headed down to the river and did a quick cruise with the tourists with our guide pointing out all the #1 spots in Bangkok to visit ("if you have time"). We also took in some beef noodle and proceeded to Khao San market to observe Bangkok's playground for grudgy backpackers (check out Newley's recent article in the NYT). We grabbed some tasty Thai vittles and finished off the night at the Suan Lum Night Bazaar where we drank German beer and watched a tacky stage show featuring Thai versions of top-40 hits. Not bad for day 1.

Day 2 we dared to venture into Chatuchak Weekend Market. If you can't find it at Chatuchak, you don't want it. Highlights included the rabbits in knitted sweaters and the squirrels with little hats. But an outdoor market in Bangkok's heat and humidity can only be endured for so long. We rewarded ourselves with a proper Bankok Sunday brunch at Trader Vic's at the Bangkok Marriott Resort and Spa. Three hours of devine gluttony! We took a siesta in the afternoon, and Uta and I wandered off down the road to check out the neighborhood and dropped in on Bei Otto.

On Monday, we turned into proper tourists, and hit some of Bangkok's cultural sites. First stop was the obligatory Grand Palace followed by Wat Po. We had to do the tourist dance with a clown outside Wat Po who tried the ol' "the temple is closed for lunch, you can come back later, in the meantime why don't you take a tour with my buddy" routine. We said thanks and proceeded to walk into Wat Po. We then had a spot of difficulty catching a cab to Siam Square, as none of the cabbies wanted to use the meter - we had to hop in and out of a few cabs before finally getting a lift. Siam Square and the neighboring shopping precincts represent some of the more posh shopping in Bangkok, no shortage of Prada, Gucci and other things we can't afford (not to mention one of the biggest freakin' food courts we've ever seen). We regrouped with Newley and Anasuya to finish off the night with dinner at Cabbages and Condoms, before taking a cab through some of Bangkok's peak traffic (dreadful) to the airport to travel to our next destination.

Photos here

Return to Oz

Our vacation has come and gone. We spent four weeks overseas, trekking from Australia to Thailand (Bangkok), Germany (Hamburg and St. Peter-Ording) and Croatia (Split and Vis). Hit the links to check out a summary of each leg of the journey.